Just got a couple more today. It wouldn't be so bad, if I had ONE festival to look forward to, but I've just been getting pummeled so far. I day dream about a positive outcome quite a bit, and now the horrible reality is sinking in that I may not have a chance in fricken hell of getting this movie accepted ANYWHERE.
Most of the time its just been thoses automatic e-mails that are spat out to dozens of other filmmakers, but its even worse logging into my film festival account and going to the submissions status page, which brings me to the simple words in green, "NOT ACCEPTED" I'd rather have the generic e-mail, because that green stamp makes me feel like shit, haha.
They don't like the movie. It's too long. It's too weird. The picture quality sucks. The sound sucks. The dvd was fucked. There's no stars in it. The first ten minutes were boring. Not enough vampires. Who knows.
I'm only angry at myself because I know my audience is limited. If I paid more attention to this or that....screw it.
Anyway, I've been reading up about the indie scene that blew up in the 70's and 90's. Fascinating stuff. Most of the movies that became huge had rocky starts, or were panned by unimpressed critics. I know all I need is one champion. Is there someone out there that will say, "I gotta show this movie to so and so?" Maybe that person doesn't exist.
The Clerks documentary really opened my eyes to how some disappointing realities can turn into good fortune. They had this devastating screening where like four people showed up and the cast and crew were all there- the place had been three quarters full all week for other movies and the neighborhood was buzzing with activity. Their screening was a DISASTER, but the one old guy in the first row turned out to be their champion- and things quickly turned around for that crass little movie because that guy spread the word to the right people.
I know I should keep working on other projects or I'll go insane, but its been pretty tough. Self-loathing and eating junk food. Watching a ton of movies. Putting off phone calls to my dad in hopes that I'll have some kind of good news.
I watched a friend's play and it inspired me some. I started writing a bit again. I have to finish, "Glue Junkies" so if "Salivate" fails completely, I'll at least have a 30 minute short film to send out. Then if I get a good shooting script for, "Deadly Delivery" I can try to raise the money to make it. That movie will be way more commerical since it's full-out slasher comedy.
Honestly feel like a joke though. Maybe it's too early to feel this way. There's still 28 festivals to hear from!
of course if something great happens i won't be able to shut up about it. My false modesty would make a cat sick.
