A Day For Nerding Out

Every once in awhile I'll check out the upcoming celebrity events website, along with the New Beverly Theatre and Cinefamily because one, I love movies.  Two, it's great to meet the directors and actors involved.  So I stumbled onto the Hollywood show and saw the line up of 60 celebrities, and I probably knew about 6-7 well, and sort of knew about 30 others.

I'm not so much of an autograph guy, I usually get them for my friends, but I love taking pictures with my heroes if I get up the nerve to ask.  It can be uncomfortable asking someone, especially if they look crazy intimidating, but I guess at most of these conventions you gotta pay anyway.  I've only been to a few at the Staples Center, and this would be my first in Burbank.

The main draw for me was Pam Grier (Coffy!), Fred "The Hammer" Williamson (Black Caesar!), and Richard Roundtree (Shaft!).  Holy crap, soul cinema's kings and queen!  I immediately went through netflix and watched some more movies with them, so I could find something fun to talk about when I got to meet them.  I also found some other celebrities I didn't know much about and did some research on them too.  I mean it's kind of cool to know who's going to be around- I read up on Adrian Booth aka Lorna Gray.  I learned about all the serials she did, she had great comedic timing, actually holding her own with the Three Stooges and another hero, Buster Keaton.  I've seen a lot of actresses just sort of going along for the ride in these types of comedy shorts, but she fit right into the lunacy- I was impressed.  I saw she also worked with Robert Blake when he was just little Bobby Blake- and I knew it was going to be interesting to see Robert given his reputation.

So anyway, I was debating whether to go, but ultimately, I wanted to get my brother a cool birthday present, and meet my trio of heroes.  Deep down I know I'd spend a lot of money, but I haven't spoiled myself in awhile- screw it!

I took the bus up to Burbank and recognized a big dude in a baseball cap and his notebook.  He's an autograph collector that I loathe- he's the first taste I got of douchebag in Hollywood when I first moved out 11 years ago.  Rude to celebrities, bragging to other hounds about the signatures he has- every time there's a premiere going on, he's likely to be there. Because like douchebag papparazzi, that's how he makes his living.  Probably knocks on celebrities doors, lives with his parents, takes a shower once a week. Yes,  I hate this guy.  Luckily, that was the last time I saw him, so I guess he was obnoxious at some other event.

I paid my entry fee and wandered around to get a feel of the layout.  It's always amazing to see that you can just walk up to these people and start talking to them- I still can't get over it.  There were huge lines for Angie Dickenson and Pam Grier all ready.  I saw actors from my childhood, cast members of Growing Pains and The Facts of Life.  I've never seen the "Dark Shadows" series, but it seems to have a big following too.  The actress who has that chilling first death scene in, "Jaws"  Rock guitarist Lita Ford, selling a classic 80's poster of herself with her ass on display, haha.  Later in the day Ron Jeremy showed up to swap stories with her.

The guy at the front desk told me that Robert Blake was in some private room, which added an air of mystery to the place, and I figured it was for security reasons.  About ten minutes into my visit someone announced on the PA that Robert Blake would be leaving and that everyone had to get in line now to see him.  Haha, so that triggered a rush of people because the guy had only been there for a half an hour, but I got in line and waited my turn.  I listened to some hardcore collectors behind me bicker about him, and how unfair it is that they would have to wait in line when he could leave at any moment, and trying to stop the stressed out staff  for information- uggh.  Why can't these idiots just relax and be thankful that they get to meet anyone- let alone girls.  Everyone is so amped up over stupid shit. 

Anyway, we got into the room and it was friggen weird.  I brought my Lost Highway dvd for Robert to sign, because it's still one of the creepiest scenes I've ever seen in a movie- I love it, and I swear meeting him had a similar vibe. Like walking in a church and it's eerily quiet, and you know there's something watching you.  A long table with a ton of pictures to choose from- from his early child acting roles to his Baretta stuff.  Robert looking cross at his little table- a little tension for sure.

He didn't say a word to anybody when I was in there and he didn't acknowledge my thank yous, but whatever- I have this amazing picture with crazy intensity coming from a legendary actor, and it was a memorable moment. 

I brought my stupid cat puppet (A.J.) with me, because it's sort of funny to get pictures with him at the events, and makes me forget how awkward I am. I must come off especially creepy when I ask people to pose with the puppet, but whatever, it's for my amusement.  Oh man I wish I had the balls to take the puppet out when I got a picture with Robert Blake- that would've been hilarious, but I'm afraid he would've ripped its head off, followed by a scream of profanity.  Just the contrast between the cat's expression and Robert Blake would've made it candidate for most absurd moment of the year.

I don't want anyone to think I'm mocking the talent with this cat, I really love meeting these people, but I think the cat makes things better.  This isn't like The Beaver thing with Mel Gibson where I'm trying to be a better man, I promise.

So after that I got the courage to go up to Fred Williamson, "The Hammer" and he started recommending some of his pictures.  I'm still kicking myself for not getting the one where he was posing with a Black Cobra beverage- my brother would've loved that.  He was totally cool, I asked him about his awesome climactic fight in, "Bucktown" and how his attitude towards filmmaking was really inspiring.  I got him to sign a few things and took a picture with him.  Like the title of his movie, "One Down, Two to Go"  and I was off to the next "blaxploitation" star.  On a side note, Fred always says he hates the blaxploitation label because "who's being exploited, we were all getting paid!"  Good point.  He also says the original "Inglorious Bastards" is a better film.   "Netflix instant watch!" he said.  I will.

Richard Roundtree was totally friendly too, but I couldn't think of anything to say to him.  I apolgised when I stared at the selection of pictures too long, "Sorry, I'm just on sensory overload from this whole event" and Richard and his assistant laughed.  I got a photo signed and a picture with him too.

I forked down the money for a special picture with Pam Grier because- why not.  She's one of the most beautiful women in the world and when am I ever going to meet her again.  I started scheming how we could take a silly picture with A.J., because smile poses are boring.  Like she could be totally enamored with the cat and I could be rolling my eyes.  Of course when the time to take the picture came, I locked eyes with Pam Grier and totally fumbled the ball.  Took a standard picture where I look like a doofus with my backwards cap, while Pam and A.J. look royal.

I felt like a little boy when Pam grabbed my hands and said, "Thank you soo much for bringing your cat."  I was on cloud nine though- she still looks amazing.  (sings)  "Coffy is the co-lor...of-her-skin."

Later I circled the place about half a dozen times, not knowing what to do next.  I got some air outside and scarfed down a PB and J.  An older fanboy sat next to me, moaning about his back hurting and then smoking a cigarette.  He was friendly, we chatted a bit and he sort of name dropped and elaborated on his future plans.  He flew out from Florida- pretty hardcore. 

It was disappointing to see the dealers didn't have any movies to sell of the guests involved.  That seems like a no-brainer, and very few actors were selling their own dvds- just pictures.  I wish I had got to Ameoba last night so I could get Pam Grier and Fred to sign, "Bucktown" that would've been a sweet present.  I really just wanted to talk to the Hammer, because I didn't really come for anyone else, but conversation was feeble.  He actually cut it off when we were just standing around awkwardly, haha- that was an act of mercy on his part.

I had A.J. pose with Loni Anderson, just because the idea alone struck me funny.  Plus my parents would get a kick out of it.  Her assistant was flabbergasted like, "You don't want to be in the picture?" and I told her the cat was more photogenic.  Then Loni was like, "So you puppeteer?" and told me she used to do that when she was young.  I don't know Loni much from tv, but I gotta say, she looks pretty damn good for her age.  That goes for Angie Dickenson too.

Michael Madsen looked intimidating.  Especially because every time he posed for a picture, he looked like he didn't want to be there.  Still, he was laughing a lot with his assistant and I loved his wacky aloha shirt.  He came back after lunch break with a different shirt- still badass, but not as goofy.  I looked over his stuff and chimed in when they were talking about Robert Blake.  Madsen was bummed because he didn't get to see him.  I noticed he added a couple of things to the table- some BBQ sauce and Hot Sauce with A Michael Madsen label on it.  He's on the label riding a motorcycle, sunglasses, it's called something like, "Michael Madsen's Bad Ass Hot Sauce" or something- I'll put pictures up later.  He said he was only selling by the case, it would take a couple weeks to deliver, and that he was still trying to get distribution.  He let me know it wasn't a joke, that he was serious about it, and I told him I'd like to buy a couple bottles to try it out.

I don't think he was expecting to sell any individually this way, because he was really surprised and grateful to me, and took this picture with a huge grin on his face.

 Then he gave my arm a squeeze after and said, "Thanks a lot man, I appreciate that" and I said, "Of course! I wanna try it." I think the label IS hilarious, but it's also a good way to market himself. 

Took another picture with Pam Grier later, and she started meowing, puppeteering the cat.  She signed a picture with "Happy Birthday" to my brother and a "Coffy" dvd for another friend.

This guy Ken who played a Ninja Turtle saw me looking at his table and told me to come over, "Feel free to go through this album, bunch of production photos from the movie- ask me anything you want!"  Plus his gorgeous assistant was demonstarting high kicks, so it was hard not wander over.  At this time of the day I was feeling sort of loopy and tired- he took notice of that, and gave me a bottle of water. Very generous.  I hadn't much to drink all day, so that got me back on track. I told him about my roommate's favorite line from a ninja turtle movie, and it actually involves HIS character, Rafael, so he signed a funny/cool headshot with the quote, along with "Cowabunga Dude!" haha.  Then I took a couple of ridiculous photos with him and he handed me his sai saying, "That's the actual one I used in the movie!" and he laughed his ass off when he saw the puppet.  Very down-to-earth/goofy guy- my type of celebrity.

I haven't seen Angie Dickenson in any movies, but I've been wanting to see Big Bad Mama, and considering her cult status I will be checking out her work very soon.  So I took a picture with her anyway.  She is definitely darling.

That was fun, some day I'll have a nerdy friend to share the experience with me, but for now it's just a charasmatic cat and myself. I was a little disappointed to find out Adrian Booth was to appear on Sunday- did anyone take a picture with her?  It would've been great to hear some of her stories working with comedy legends.

 Oh, and here's the picture we took with Pam Grier.