Use Your Straw Gerald! (2005)
He sliced the meat with his two feet and Sheila was disgusted,
Them Mom came in and Sheila grinned because Gerald would be busted,
"Don't use your toes to grip our pork!" and Mom went for the drawer,
"Does Gerald know that he's a dork," asked Sheila grinning more,
Gerald sighed and almost cried when mom came roaring back,
She thrusted a straw, beneath his jaw and whispered, "Now attack!"
Gerald didn't hesitate, the more he'd stall- the more they'd wait,
He took a deep breath, opened his mouth and finally slipped the straw down south,
The other end he plunged inside, the porky surface of the swine,
A quick suck test, but nothing came, he puckered his lips- their patience waned,
It was no good, his face turned red, his sister mouthed the words,' You're dead"
His mother watched his portion close, and Gerald knew he'd soon be toast,
But one last pull into his lungs and finally something gave,
The pork shot through the curly straw and Gerald's face just caved,
His eyes exploded, Nose imploded and Gerald's ears were gone,
The pork shot out his lower back and bounced onto their lawn,
Gerald was a kid no more his face was like a turnip,
But that wasn't allowed, the family found that his face required a permit,
It wasn't worth the trouble so they threw him in the gutter,
They felt a little guilty so they gave him a pound of butter,
"But how will he survive," his sister whined a little weak,
"He has his feet," his mother said and turned the other cheek.
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