Too many problems that need to be fixed,
The lighting is off I see boom shadows there,
They've all seen the dailies, but nobody cares,
Horrible acting that keeps getting worse,
Like Stevan Seagal it's a bad-acting curse,
He's missing his mark and he ruins each take,
Meanwhile the extras look hardly awake,
The actress's passion for her "husband" sounds fake,
And the fucking DP dropped a lens in the lake,
Two weeks over schedule and one million under,
Our investors keep visiting and seeing their blunder,
Their faith in the movie has gone down the shitter,
All of the crew has turned sour and bitter,
Despite all of this I'm glad no-one's a quitter,
But the stupid director needs his own baby-sitter,
He can't handle direction,
He's a walking erection,
How many takes does a shower scene need,
He giggles insanely like he's always on speed,
You ask him a question and you're met with a stare,
A worthwhile exchange of ideas is quite rare,
Unfortunately there's nothing I can do,
I'm just the writer- the gum on your shoe,
I don't get paid,
I hardly get laid,
And my position in this movie will gradually fade,
From the looks of the film I'll be ashamed of my credit,
Take out my last name just "Derek"- I may edit,
When the movie comes out I'm going to dread it,
"THEY RUINED MY VISION, yeah, SEE- THERE I SAID IT!"
I have no say when it comes to suggestion,
I'm just a ghost, I can't ask any questions,
Merely a witness to the disaster I see,
I fight the temptation to stab my own knee,
"YOU STUPID ASSHOLES, YOU FORGOT THE DAMN MAKE-UP!"
"HIS SCAR WAS ON HIS LEFT CHEEK YOU MORON- HEY WAKE-UP!"
Everyone stares at the writer for once,
Alone in the corner, I feel like a dunce,
The director walks over and gives me a smile,
"Derek, why don't you just get lost for awhile?"
I slowly get up and walk out with a sigh,
Of course no one bothers to bid me good-bye,
But out in the back I spot the actor's corvette,
I keyed on his car, "You can't ACT WORTH A SHEE-YIT!"
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